how to tell someone their favourite book sucks

In first news, I am happy to say that my oldest cat, Milo, does NOT have the cat eye chlamydia that another cat of mine once had, which made for some interesting conversation among friends.  THIS cat just has wacked out pink eye
that weeps
and makes him look like he lost a fight
and he can no longer meow
which is only temporary, I am guessing, but is highly amusing at the present.

the vet bill, on the other hand, was not amusing in the least.  it never is.  why do people still insist on saying "free" cats?

In second news, I love it when someone else blogs just exactly what I would have if I had been so brilliant.

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/07/not-knowing-how-to-tell-someone-their-favorite-book-didnt-completely-change-your-life-too/

and, for the record, The Shack did not 'do it' for me.  I pretty much hated it.  But I've likely already told you that to your face.

and, no, I won't 'take it back'

does yelling at someone's back count?

so, today, just as I was beginning to believe that nothing blogworthy could possibly happen, I was proved wrong

ish

a guy came into the store and ASKED FOR DIRECTIONS!
I mean, really asked, like had my co-worker physically point the directions out ... including visuals, such as:

no, I don't mean go to straight at the driveway with the lights (there are two driveways, if you can call them that, that lead out of the stripmall thing where our store is), but this driveway, straight from here.  (she was the goddess of directionality at that moment and we were all duly impressed)

I mean, how incredible is that?  a MAN purposefully CAME INTO THE STORE TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS ... are you feeling this?

so I immediately turned to the girls working with me and said "this is blogworthy.  no, seriously ... should I ask his permission?  'cause you know we discussed the asking permission thing recently"

and he was almost out of the store when I totally yelled: "is it ok if I blog about you?!"

but he didn't hear me.
yes, I actually yelled the question.

yes, it would seem I blogged about him anyway.

yes, he was even cute.

sometimes ...

I have really great ideas.

AND they work out.

because this is just creepy

and, well, it's Sunday ...

hello, my name is thursday and i suck

so, at work today, during lunch, i noticed that my iphone was pooched.  i am not impressed.  i try many things, including eating cake that said "happy birthday mo fo".  it didn't work. 
well, it sort of did but i mean it didn't work on the phone.

i get home, all the while remembering why i hate listening to the radio in the car (because i normally listen to my itunes which are all on my iphone), thinking "maybe this phone will miraculously raise from the dead." 
i love jesus ... it could happen.

but it didn't

i think it was neal's forcefield.  i got cranky with him last night because he turned my phone ON after i had already turned it OFF.  it is an unspoken rule that he should instinctively know having lived with me for more than 16 years, but whatever.

in any case, here is what happened at future shop unnamed sucky customer service store. (because we went to talk to the people at the customer service wicket, and even pointed out to them that they were standing underneath the customer service sign.  neal making a rainbow-like arch with his arms, for emphasis)

incidentally, they were completely unmoved by the sentiment implied by said sign

neal (because i was getting snippy): so, what i'm hearing from you is that although we pay a monthly fee for service, and we physically drove half an hour so we could say we were "present" in your store, you are unable to take our name and phone number so that you can call us when the iphone 4 arrives, so we can exchange our broken one for a working one?

customer service girl:  yes

neal: so, even though we are in a store that is all about technology, you are not able, even, to write our contact information on a sticky note and alert the rest of the staff in the particular department that we need to be made aware of the day that the iphone 4 is available for sale, so you can actually honour our warranty?

customer service girl:  yes

neal:  wow

customer service girl:  blank stare

me:  all inside voice, but rhymes with pluck, and follows "what the ..."

i think i already have the withdrawl shakes.

slice of life

soooo many perfectly blog worthy things have happened lately BUT my conscience got the best of me and I thought that I should, likely, not make fun of people I do not know.

drat.
way to blow a bunch of perfectly good posts.

Instead I present you with mundane-ity.
that is now a word.

This is Harold. I love him. He really better be a boy.






This is our latest family pic.

how mind-blowing

I love my job

Bike guy and his friend entered the store and stopped at the front table, checking out the best sellers.  I was standing behind the counter sketching ( yes it was connected to legitimate work) and overheard their conversation.
Bike guy had a very specific book in mind and was trying the "I'll know it when I see it" approach.  So I spoke up ( because now I finally get paid to give my opinion to strangers, woot!)

Me: are there any words in the title that you can remember or the name of the author? Cause I can look it up and help you find your book.

Bike guy doesn't hear me but bike guy's friend does and nudges him:

She said she can help you find your book ...
 
bike guy looks like he doesn't believe it but walks over to the counter anyway.

Bike guy: I heard about the book on the Daily Show but I don't remember the name of it ... or who wrote it ... but it was about religion ... and science.

So I do.my.thing and voilà!

me: Marilynne Robinson is the author.

bike guy: what kind of computer is that?

me: *smile* Absence of Mind.
That's the name of the book you want.
(inside my head giggle) How ironic.

Pause
 
bike guy:  I think she just took a dig at me ( he smiles )

me: I did. 
I'm sorry.
I just couldn't help it 

* he really was smiling and I really did help him find the book on the shelf 

favourite summer reads

Here are some of the reads I did read in previous heat waves, and they made things much, much "cooler":

The Heroines by Eileen Favourite

The Incident Report by Martha Baille (favourite by far)

Godmother The Secret Cinderella Story by Carolyn Turgeon

The Spare Room by Helen Garner

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore

I wish I had written reviews of each, now, but let's face it ... it was summer.

THIS summer, I have a whole new collection to read either loaned or recomended to me. Here are the first five:

The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton

Birth House by Amy McKay

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

Far to Go by Alison Pick (advanced reading copy)

Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent

assorted school texts for my next stint at school, the last week of August, after which I will likely only be able to handle Go Dog Go by Dr. Suess.

throw momma from the train

don't get me wrong ... I really really like my newest job. working in a cool bookstore in a 'big city' is fantastic and has many perks.

like the boy who works at hallmark, two stores down from us, who waters all the concrete planters and walks ever.so.slowly.past.our.windows.
it makes me want to go into his store and buy a super cheesy sparkle encrusted card. i have no explanation for why.

or the people who call me back after i left a message on their machine saying their special order has come in. (which is just a fancy way of letting them know there is an item which they requested sitting on the shelves behind me). some people feel completely compelled to call me back, ask to speak to me specifically, and then launch into a full out time/date scenario so i will know when they will be arriving. this would never occur to me since i have 'call people back who left messages on my answering machine' phobia. i have no explanation for that either.

i also like the customers who come into the store and almost seem sheepish. they would like us to order them a book, but they have little to no details about said book (read: title, author, genre) and they really want to get their hands on the book but ask almost apologetically, as though it's 'too much trouble'. they don't know that i have the perfect computer program specifically for bookstores, oh, and google. they don't know that i actually dig that part of my job, either.

but yesterday took the cake. i am most certain that i accidentally phoned her ...

i am, admittedly, not the world's best editor (which is why my father comments on my posts from time to time, pointing out errors, and why i always hire out before publishing another study guide, and why i had to re-print my therapy brochures 3 times, but i digress). editing and proofreading is important when calling customers. i overlooked this detail. i think it was because my feet were killing me. in any case, the conversation went something like this:

me: hi, is this (insert correct name)?
momma: yes.
me: it's kristina callling to let you know that your special order is in and we are open until 5:30 tonight.
momma: who are you?
me: kristina, calling from the book keeper, for (insert correct name, which she claims is her name, too)
momma: oh, i don't want you to sell me anything
me: i'm sorry ... this message is for (insert correct name) at (insert correct, i thought, phone number)
momma: what number is that? i really don't want you to be selling me something.
me: no. i am calling about a book that was specially ordered for you, to let you know it is here for you to pick up.
momma: who are you? I don't want you to sell me things.
me: i slowly speak number into telephone receiver, at which point my co-worker ever so slowly angles the number display feature toward my face and my eyes focus, and the blush slowly creeps onto my neck and cheeks.

i apologize to momma
my co-worker takes the invoice slip, dials the RIGHT number, finishes her call, gingerly shelves the book and says to me:
sometimes, it's just easier to leave a message.