favourite song

yesterday's prompt asked what my favourite song is.
huh.
is that even really possible?
can a person honestly narrow down the vast field of music to just one song?
I know I never could.

I have song moods.
today, for example, was a dallas green day all the way
not sure how many times, exactly, that I listened to "sometimes", but it was more than three.
knives might be my favourite song on the album
if it isn't, it's pretty darn close, with "hello, I'm in delaware" right behind it.

yesterday was a dallas day, too, but I also ruminated over glen hansard and marketa irglova, as usual. leave is probably the top song on that album, for me.

so, I dunno. I just don't think it can be narrowed down like that and if I can learn to play it on martin ... it just becomes that much more intense and that much harder to choose.

technical difficulties part 2

I like technology ... I do ... I just hardly ever understand it. so, when you are trying to skype on an iphone 3, without the back camera, you gotta do what you can.
this is what all the cool cats do:
they take their mirror off the ceiling from their bedroom and sit it on the coffee table and hold their "outdated" phone toward said mirror so the people on the other end can see them.

conference

skype, how I love thee ... when you do decide to work.

... leave me alone, michelle. it's the only other picture of you that I have that is half recent.
xo

the tree

If you could have a tree in your yard that would sprout anything, what type of tree would you have?

HA!
my very first thought, accompanied by a happy sigh, was avacados.
what I wouldn't give for an avacado tree. we really really dig them in this house and would, honestly, make good on a tree like that.
we could even set up a road side stand and sell the extras, in lieu of the 'egg money' we clearly are not making because our town decided that chickens are dirty, a health hazzard and require special food.
gotcha. so, no chickens for me.
... yet

then I sat down to write this post and realized that I will sacrifice the avacado tree for a decision tree.

yes. one thing in life that seems to consistently bite me in the backside is decision making. I don't particularly care for it. I am not stellar at it. I could happily, honestly, do without it.
picture it:

there is a decision that needs to be made. I do not have an instant thought in answer to such decision

so I simply walk out my front door, go to the decision tree, pull off a flower (a frangipani to be precise) and peel off the sticky note inside to reveal the decision.
easy peasy.

truthfully, most of the times that I do not make a decision it is simply because I do not care. not that I am void of emotion, but that I am not torn between two planes of thought and, therefore, not really concerned with how things pan out. I could go with plan A or plan B and be equally satisfied.

the only problem I can foresee with this decision tree is my lack of memory. currently, I have a french pussy willow in my garage which I asked for last weekend and have not once watered.

I think I better make a decision without the tree.

the emperor's new clothes

great dress rehearsal, guys!

weekend wig

so sometimes it's better for me, really, to not be left alone for too long.
I always seem to get into trouble.
my dad used to say you can dress her up but you can't take her out.
HA!
today I managed to do both ...

I love getting ready for shows as much as I love performing in them.
I love looking through all the vintage clothes, shoes, accessories and, yep, wigs! I hardly ever need to wear the wigs since my hair is long but I played around a bit today while the other girls were having their pictures taken. the picture is a bit blurry cause I was trying to do it really quickly, without getting caught.

I am never going to be too old to play dress up.

scary stuff, eh kids?

I used to love being a teenager. I had an absolute blast, which is why I love watching my own boys going through the teen years. I don't remember my parents being anywhere near as sarcastic with me as I am with my kids, but I must have made them shake their heads many many times.

one of the things I remember most fondly are the youth retreats I went on. mostly because it was a time to be in a hotel or on a gym floor with a ton of kids close to my age but also, if I am being remotely honest, because some of those kids were boy types.

*smile*

on one such occasion, I was at a brand new howard johnson near niagara falls. I don't remember if it was at a mall or what, but there was also a thing called nightmares there. yep, I could pay money to have the crap scared out of me and would only be rescued if I screamed the word nightmares loudly enough (and the people working the funhouse could be bothered to come get me).

I was with jen and heather and trisha in this stupid maze of blackness and turns when trisha first started freaking out. apparently someone had touched her bum ... not just once ... and the last time it happened, in the pitch black, she spit out her retainer. so she was half laughing, half crying, holding my hand and telling me this when the tiny white christmas lights on the ceiling went out. not cool.
I remember all of us trying to stay as a group, clumped, as it were, like we were stuck together with crazy glue. the people running the place were trying very hard to wrench us apart, but if you know girls at all you have to know that was so not going to happen.

the next thing we knew, we found ourselves in a tiny closet, walls surrounding us, with apparently no way out but the itsy bitsiest opening to heather's left. there was no way my imagination was going to let me try and crawl through that! I could just see myself getting completely wedged in and spontaneously peeing against my will out of sheer terror.
yes, I realize that this whole thing sounds stupid and not scary in the least but that is not the point.
it never is.

so ... I screamed nightmares, while laughing hysterically, until some guy came and gruffly pulled me out of the puny closet. now that I think about it, it was easy for him to do. huh. I was sure there was no way out.
I ended up on a bench outside the funhouse waiting for the rest of the group to emerge. it wasn't so bad, really.
I remember there being a pretty cute boy also waiting for his friends on the same bench and we ended up long distance dating for a while.

as it turns out, the small opening was more than a foot wide and was actually quite expandable if you pushed hard enough, and was a mere four feet from the exit of the funhouse as a whole.
as you ran out of the exit wedge, someone came at you with a bladeless chainsaw, took your picture as you looked like you were going to puke and that was the end of your $12 of incredible fun.

yah ... good times.

who do you miss?

... interesting.
I rarely know what I am going to blog about until I sit down with my compy and stare out the livingroom window. I always write my blog posts from the couch, unless I am beyond just a little bit tired; then I write my posts from bed, and it's usually only a matter of posting a picture.

today there will be no image to the left of my words (always to the left). I don't have any of the person on my mind. the fact that I even miss her is intriguing to me. I asked myself who I missed, and though I honestly miss so very many friends, I was surprised to catch myself adding her to the list.

If I believed in telekinesis AND invisibility (but not like in harry potter where I would have to wear a dumb cloak. I hate cloaks) AND if she were still at elgin court, I would transport myself to the back of her grade four classroom once again and listen to her often garbled voice as she explained the order of the day.

I remember how excited I would get when she announced that our most recent english papers had been graded, in order of highest to lowest marks, and mine was on top. I also remember how deflated I would feel when the same thing was done with the latest math papers. mine was usually on the bottom. I was supposed to be enrolled in the enrichment program for the following year except I hadn't learned my times tables so she was holding me back. I really meant to learn them. I still attempt it. they just never stick.
no enrichment for me.

then there was the day that my constant chatter, laissez faire attitude and likely some other things I have successfully blocked out got in her face just a bit too much. I was wearing a very cool blue satin zip up jacket. it had white cuffs and trim. It had green and red on it too, like a half rainbow. I left school that day with fingernail imprints from where she shook me in frustration. no one does that in school anymore. I'm not entirely convinced that is progress. in any case, I remain ever so fond of this woman.

I was published for the first time, a poem, the year I was in her class.
I won the literature award, too, due to her constant encouragement and inspiration.
I learned the value of hard work and introspection through her.
I am convinced that I write, to this very day, because she was one more person, in authority, who took the time to tell me what I was good at.

I do miss helen monroe.

new hair

I know it's petty, but today I got a new haircut. I was asked to be a model for my friend's salon, as a learning experience for her staff. there was a short hair, medium hair and long hair model. I was the long hair one. not sure but I'd probably be considered a medium hair one now. anyway, the medium hair was done first, followed by the short hair and I think she ran out of time cause there was so much to teach and show and play around with and only so much time.
she didn't end up cutting my hair, in the end.
but my friend did, and coloured it, and how can that possibly be a bad way to spend your day?

so now I'm getting used to having a full fringe. I don't think I've had bangs since I was like 8. it's now a mahogany colour with caramel. my whole head feels ten pounds lighter. I didn't ask how many inches she took off.

now to start the countdown to my vacation.

Where Is My Mind by the Pixies

thanks, brudders ...

wordless weekend

weekend

I love love love the weekend.  it's kinda sad, maybe.  the week is just "ok", even though I love my job.  when I wake up and realise it's friday, I usually get a little giddy.  doesn't take much, really.

I love fridays because we often get to spend them with an amazing couple we have come to love over this last year.  the boys go do their thing at youth and we spend a bunch of hours talking, laughing, eating and just generally hanging out.  it's nice when it happens since it means we don't have to drive the boys to youth, drive back home, drive to get the boys, then drive back home again.  not that we mind, but, honestly?  these friends of ours have the comfiest couches, the most relaxed atmosphere and the bestest dogs on the planet, in my humble opinion.

I love sundays because I finally love going to church again.  oooo ... scary stuff kids!  I don't have a problem admitting that.  I have believed in God for a very very long time and accepted Christ as my Saviour when I was eight, so it isn't a sudden decision of mine to try to find a church to go to.  I've been going my whole entire life.  heck, I played baby Jesus in the christmas production when I was only a month old!  but it's been a long, hard road finding a church that worked for every one of us in this wee family and not something I felt like rushing into.  the problem with most churches is that they are full of people, me included.  I remember, as a child, singing  I am the church, you are the church, we are the church together ... it's a bit of a conundrum.

this week, though, the piece de resistance will be at the crofoot, in pontiac, when I get to see the civil wars again.  I truly hope that girl who outsang joy will choose not to come this time.  she didn't take too kindly to my asking her to stop.

observations

so far I feel like my "goal" for this month (to do a lot of exhaling) has been completely sabotaged by external circumstances.  like totally and absolutely out of my control not my fault circumstances.
I guess life is just like that, which goes to show that even though I may have lots of personal plans, it doesn't mean they will be my reality.
I'm getting better at going with the flow but sometimes I need prompting.

like how I was reminded, recently, that I probably should be doing some planning for this upcoming vacation of mine.  so I got out my usual travel bag only to find some candy I had hidden in it.  it was loose and had made a mess but nothing that would put me off eating it.  weird.  for someone who claims to like candy so much, you would think I would also consume the whole lot ... but I don't.  I only take it in bits.

like decision making.

used to be I had to know the answers yesterday.  now I'm coming to realize and accept that in the end, it all comes out in the wash, whether I stewed and stamped my feet or not.
I will remind you many times of my hoped-for outcome, however, while I wait.  some habits die hard.

or how about  shopping?

I literally left everything (but the clothes I flew home in) back in PNG two years ago.  I figured it would be easy for me to create another bunch of laundry and some of  our friends there had very little.  well, it turned out to be only partly easy.  I can shop happily, finding stuff I like enough to actually shell out cash for, but, having laid out every single article of summery stuff I have, I find that I am much more of an impulse.love.at.first.sight. kinda gal.  individually I really dig my threads, but as a wearable wardrobe? 
kinda suckworthy.

oh well,
where I'm going in a couple of weeks I hear all I need are bathingsuits anyway.

lucky item

I don't believe in luck ... though I will occasionally say "lucky".  it's more of a napolean dynamite thing.
I do know that one of my favouritest items in my personal belongings is considered a good luck charm.  my brother gave it to me many moons ago, after a school field trip.  they got to go to some place where you could collect amethysts.  for whatever reason, he felt prompted to give me one, encased in a silver clasp of sorts, that I can wear on a chain.
I used to wear it on a thin piece of leather and love love loved it.
need to resurrect the necklace for sure cause it makes me feel just plain good.

stroke of genius

I have always loved this picture of my dad but, of course, my mom has the only copy because it was taken quite a long time ago, when he was a young lad in england.
today, unfortunately, I had need to go visit my dad because he has recently suffered a stroke.  I wasn't going to go, at first, thinking I would only be able to sit at my parent's house.  It turns out, though, that he is in a regular hospital room and not in I.C.U. due to a bed shortage, so I was able to see him afterall.
I didn't know what to expect.
I got a big surprise.
there was dad, sitting up in bed eating a full lunch like nothing much had happened the night before.
gotta love stubborn men.
The hospital called with my dad's request list, chock full of items he wanted us to bring to his room so he would both appear more presentable and be entertained.
things like: sudoku puzzles, his current clancey novel, his hair brush (rather funny), his newest shirt and his razor (because he has no intention of growing a beard during his stay).
sarcastic as ever, it only takes slightly longer for him to say what's on his mind. 

so, while we don't know yet what caused his stroke or what will come next, I think it's extra awesome cool that the therapy I do is not only suited for learning disabilities but also for stroke recovery.  imagine that.

I love you, dad ... the genius (as we affectionately call him) returns!

sprouting up

I have too much on my brain today to dig deeply, but in taking on this month's theme, we measured our offspring yesterday and were shocked to discover just exactly how much they have grown.
talk about sprouting ... jonam checks in at 5 ft 10 now, so he is satisfied.  last year, when he was only 5'8, he was worried that he would always be short.  I reminded him that he had already surpassed colin, so really, what did it matter?  sorry colin.
evan is now a full 6 feet.

crazy.

all I know is that the mass of testosterone in this house makes it easier for me to maintain my status as prime princess ...
it's all good.