return to music

it's been so crazy busy this last month that my guitar sits unused a lot

it's been painful

so i went to a local music store to make a purchase

it will all come around again soon

i can smell it

return to fall

today it rained for the first time (that I noticed) since moving here and it had chicken pot pie written all over it

I tried yet another gluten, wheat and dairy free recipe from cooking for isaiah and it went over amazingly well

yah for recipes that work!

I would use less crust than the recipe made as it turned out pretty thick on top but I didn't feel like spending a lot of time rolling dough so I really really cheated and just used my fingers to spread it out while it was wrapped in saran

happily impressed and with a full belly

return to fall

today it rained for the first time (that I noticed) since moving here and it had chicken pot pie written all over it

I tried yet another gluten, wheat and dairy free recipe from cooking for isaiah and it went over amazingly well

yah for recipes that work!

I would use less crust than the recipe made as it turned out pretty thick on top but I didn't feel like spending a lot of time rolling dough so I really really cheated and just used my fingers to spread it out while it was wrapped in saran

happily impressed and with a full belly

return to health

I should have known something was up on tuesday.
I NEVER leave a good nighttime snack go to waste like I did that night
I don't often ask to be taken home early either
and I am hardly ever in bed before 11

today is the first day I am feeling mostly normal after picking up a nasty bug. Three of the four of us have it. It could definitely be worse, I know, but I just started my new job and it's really REALLY bad timing

perfect day to watch useless shows on a new tv.
in less than one week, I went from watching next to no television in six years to having cable and three televisions to choose from.

weird
but cool
and I'll admit it ... tv? I totally missed you

return to bed

I tried to go out last night

I knew it was going to be a lost cause
but I tried anyway
I made it to the place

I ordered a nice drink

later
I ordered a nice dessert

and a water

I lasted through the first performer
who I actually really liked

then almost three songs of the second performer
who had five dudes, as they announced,
all of them with microphones

somehow
all singing exactly.the.same.notes.

wow

so I finally announced that I had to go home
drink mostly untouched
dessert only partly eaten
happy to have gotten some fresh air at least

happier to have found my bed again

see how happy i look, holding this jar of fluff?
an item i have actually said, out loud even, that i would never buy.

well, since beginning our gluten/wheat/dairy free sort of journey, i bought a fantastic cookbook and so far am so impressed. and she said i could buy fluff.
(and i say sort of because only one of us has given up dairy, and i only eat gluten/wheat free when the one of us who has sensitivities is around for meals, so maybe two meals a day for me).

this is going to be breakfast tomorrow.

before you go all why the heck did you buy fluff on me, just don't.
what goes around comes around. and i am pretty sure it did when the empty tupperware container in my pantry fell squarely on my noggin.
i had no idea it would hurt so much or i would have tried blocking it when i first noticed it falling toward me.

the pancakes tomorrow better be worth it.

returning to my muse

hopefully
soon
i'll feel creative again

sent it back

Have you ever returned a meal to a restaurant kitchen? What did you order?

well, no
not exactly,
but this prompt was kind of appropriate for today considering the fact that for the absolute first time i can ever recall i told someone i.did.not.like.what.they.made.for.me.

unless you really really know me, you would have no idea how almost cataclysmic that is in my wee world. we are talking mind-blowingly, hugely worth noting wow-ness.

i have never told someone that what they served me was not cool (excepting my mom and it never got me anywhere so i stopped ... eventually)

but today i had a DQ craving and neal happily indulged me seeing as it was something on the 2 for $4 menu. but the problem came when i made an assumption and right now i can picture mr. maclean, in grade 6, saying you know what happens when you assume

well, we orderd two dipped cones, but i NEVER GET CHOCOLATE
ever
as a rule

i GET BUTTERSCOTCH
always
as a rule

but as she started dipping my ice creamy goodness into the vat of waxy brown dip it was too late, even though i put my hand up to signal her to please, for the love of God, stop!

and then she handed it to me
and i turned to neal and handed it to him
and i believe i actually made a very immature face and said, outloud, that i would not eat it
i do not believe i stamped my three year old foot but i wanted to

instead

i turned to the boy who was now behind the counter and calmly told him that had i realized i was going to be given no choice in dip, i would have asked for a plain cone. and i told him "i don't like chocolate dip. could you make me another one, not dipped?"

and by gosh and by golly he said "sure"
and totally made me a new cone
and handed it to me and said "here you go"

and i almost didn't know what to do next
but i figured it out
and it was the sweetest cone i've eaten in a long, long time

5ifty

today was another long but productive day, so the evening's menu held extra special appeal to me

first, it was Thai sweet potato soup and a build your own salad from the chopped leaf. i will definitely have to go eat there again

then, there was a free showing of The 5ifty/Pacific Cinemathique and it was really well done. of course i got the popcorn, which i never do, and i kind of regret it, but it smelled soooooo good and after a long week, i was extra vulnerable, and it came in a bucket for only 44 more cents so ... yah

i wasn't alone. there were LOTS of buckets in the theatre

to cap it all off, back at the office i discovered a box of dark chocolates, already opened, beckoning to me

i responded in kind
i'm good that way

oh yah

Have you ever kept a book from the library instead of returning it, paying the missing fee just so you could keep it?

hello.

the first time i 'remember' doing this was for this fantastic book.

it made me feel excited and happy to read it and also just a tinge naughty. growing up in church i was never really sure just where that line ought to be regarding all things goulish and halloweeny.

rest assured that after watching all the nightmare on elm streets i figured it out.

maybe

now i totally want to read this again.

last book

so today's prompt was: what was the last book you returned to the library?

i have to admit that i cannot remember. i know i received a few phone calls from the petrolia library this summer, saying that a book i had ordered was ready to be picked up if i still wanted it. i never went, though, because i had no memory of ordering anything. a lot of the books i requested were ones on a long waiting list, so by the time they showed up in my name, i had either already purchased and read them or just.plain.given.up.

it helped that i started working in a bookstore last june, also. once i was surrounded by some of the best literary works available, the library became a distant cousin.

i have been to the library, here, exactly one time since moving a month ago. i have visited the independent bookstore three times but so far have yet to make a purchase there. i did order this for my work and it should get here this week and no, you cannot look inside for real

all in good time.

for now, i'm reading reports, facebook statuses and texts.

childhood bedroom

i have had more than one childhood bedroom. i have no idea what it would be like to be born, raised and then leave only one home. the whole concept is as foreign and bizarre to me as my "constant" moving is to those who remain firmly planted in one location.

the first one i remember, i also shared with my mummo (my mom's mom). i fondly remember being tucked in by her after i had fallen asleep reading. i remember because most times i only pretended to fall asleep, so i could relish the feeling of the blankets being literally tucked all around my wee 7 year old form.
one of my most cherished memories for sure.

then we moved to a different part of the city, to a big house with a ravine and corn fields to explore. i no longer shared a bedroom and had carpeting EVEN IN THE CLOSET! wow. talk about heaven. i used to play barbies in that closet, happily, until i discovered the neighbour boys preferred dinky cars. so the dolls were mostly abandoned for the dirt and fresh air. part of the time, i slept downstairs on a cot, in my sleeping bag, since we didn't have central air in those days. tons of amazing memories in that house.

then we moved again, this time buying a house, and i, once again, had a bedroom to myself. in fact, my brother and i had the whole upstairs to invade and i relished it. my room wasn't carpeted for long (vomiting incident) as we revealed beautiful hardwood underneath. i do have one regret about this bedroom ... i took the darkest blue paint i think i have ever seen and painted a very ugly splotch beside my bed, so i could write notes and phone numbers in chalk.
i did not ask for permission first.
it did not go over well.
i was too proud to admit that i, too, hated it.

two more bedrooms were "mine" before i got married. this is the last one i have a picture of

sunday stuff

first off, we checked out the winter sport show and swap at the kelowna curling club yesterday and loaded up with snow stuff, ready to hang at big white as soon as the flakes fall. twice we were called hard core. yah, more like unprepared. and we spent a small fortune but left super happy. we didn't buy any skis, or boards or boots, but this is the picture i have ...

while we were trying on gear and making choices, this row of skis went down no less than three times, like the grand poo-bah of dominoes, echoing in the gym. awesome.

since my bike is now fixed, i figured our day should also include a ride, so we pedalled to the lake and rotary marsh.

some ducks were waddling up the hill, toward us, so i videotaped them, in case anything remarkable occurred.
nothing.
as could have been predicted. but i did get this shot and am quite fond of it. i hope they don't mind.

market day

return to that time

If you could return to a place you once lived, where would you go?

I am so enamoured with the forward thrust of life in many ways. I think that I often joke about wanting to be 20 again, but only to relive certain parts. I don't really want to be in that skin twice.
I have learned so much about myself and met so many amazing people, travelled, read, written, drafted and filed away far too much to ever want to go back and do things over again.
I used to sit and daydream about making better or different choices, going back, knowing what I know now, but I have decided it's fruitless.

I made the decisions I made and they made me who I am now.
You can't just go back and choose only the good parts. If I were to return, I'd have to go through all the really shitty parts, too.

and that's just not something I want to think too hard about.

life is good.
life is short.
life is full.

cease it.

if only

If you could return the decorations in one room of your house, which would it be?

this one is easy, for a change.
nothing.

for real.

i have done so much purging and packing over the last three years that there really isn't a whole lot left as far as decorations go. the art on our walls was created by my husband, myself, michelle or brought back from travels around the big wide world.

i'm satisfied.

now to actually get it on some walls

the first thing you see

the first thing you see when you walk in my house is either the pile of boy's shoes or the painting.

I would hope your eyes would bypass the footwear and focus on the artwork. It's kind of symbolic when I think about it.
Many of the new beginnings in my journey have been immortalized on canvas by the same artist.

My wedding day
The birth of each of my boys
My birthday the first year I met her

and now, upon our move to British Columbia

I see these pieces as subtle reminders of all the good people I have woven into the very fibre of my being.
and this is good
and this makes me smile

a couple years ago or so

there wasn't a prompt for today so i took to scrolling through pictures and found some from a bit ago that made me smile.
I remembered how happy i was to finally have settled on a tattoo design and then to have found an artist i thought was up to the challenge.
malibu did a great job, listening to what i wanted and designing something that blended the two ideas perfectly.

it wasn't exactly to today's date or anything, but it was summerish and that's close enough for me.

can you tell i have ink on the mind?

some folks say there ain't no bears in arkansas

How do you feel when you return home at the end of the day?

this, for me, is different.
i am still getting used to the place i now live.
like this afternoon, for example, as i was working on the computer i was suddenly struck with that feeling of "where am i?"
not in a bad way, just an awareness that i was busy working yet in the back of my mind i knew it was in a different place than i have been for the last couple of years. it hadn't been long enough to say "few" years for the last house, but i have a feeling that time is going to fly and before i know it, i'll have been a couple years here, too.

here is beautiful, but it's a tad early to say it feels like home. so much i haven't even explored yet. in fact, i don't even know what direction i'm going when i get in the car (ok, so i barely did in ontario either)

in any case, on the eve of a new school year, we went for a drive/walk to a mountain just a few minutes down the road. we saw four deer and made plans to come again another day when we have more time

and maybe some bells

and then we drove home

chicago

we had no idea that the day we picked to hang in chicago was also the day that most of the downtown was congregating in the park for some family day celebrations. not usually a big deal except it was also a bears game night so we had to pay a premium for parking. ouch.

and it was hot.
stinking hot.
but the live music made up for it. casino vs. japan was spinning some mixes and the sound swelled, filling the whole grassy knoll. i wanted to just lay down and soak it in but we didn't have long to stop.

along the way

i usually just call this a wordless weekend, but in keeping with the theme of return, i thought i would post some pics that evan took. i am definitely not a photographer but he likes to snap shots as often as possible and i think he's a little bit better than just allright, too.

i spy me cooling off in a public fountain, in chicago. man do i love this city. i could easily transport myself here.

and of course, the bean. what would a visit to chicago be without a bean sighting?

back to school

it's that time of year again, the time i most often associate with new beginnings and fresh starts, way more than new year's day. i used to love the first few days of school.
i especially loved back to school shopping, even for things like paper and pencils and binders. we used to hit crappy tire with all the money my parents had kept aside and get a lot of the stuff my kids now get at staples or target.

but it never took long for kids to wreck my stuff, writing on my "big eraser", borrowing my favourite pencil and forgetting to return it, you know. i'm sure it happened to you, too.

not that it really mattered.
for as much as i used to love the beginning of school, i was totally into throwing away every scrap of work i could the minute the end of the year arrived, and with every bit of enthusiasm as i began with.

school
still a perennial favourite.