Monday, November 20, 2006

with outstretched hands

I've heard it before, if God seems far away, guess who moved.

I'm not convinced.

Look at the Isrealites. They got 40 years for being whiners. Besides the fact that I complain on a regular basis and still eat way more than manna each day, am I supposed to believe that they had "unhappy hearts" for the whole time? With no love from Daddy?
How about Moses and the many other prophets of old who sought the Lord,of whom it is written: God remained silent. Did they somehow become yesterday's flavour of the month?

Or take Abraham. How long before the child actually came that he longed for ... was promised? How come he never actually saw the fulfillment of what he was specifically told he would? Did Father forget what he had declared?

Why was this man born blind? Was it a result of his own sins or those of his parents?

I love that.

I think of my friends back home who have a beautiful daughter who, for lack of a medical term on my part, has "blotches" of very dark brown, hairy skin that covers most of one side of her face. They have prayed. That is putting it mildly. I remember calling the Mother one day to tell her I had dreamed she was holding her child and someone reached out with a healing hand and it was done. Apparantly I am not the only one who has dreamed this, down to exact details, and yet...

Are we all lacking in faith?

How about my Mom. She married a great guy and then spent an agonizing 39 years praying that he would stop smoking and drinking and turn his life over to our Saviour. Almost 40 years of the same request...really...can you imagine? My brother and I surrendered to the Lord at an early age, so why two blessings and not three for this prayer warrior. Why two blessings but one curse, if you will. Sure, my Daddy knows and serves the Lord now, but why so long...an unequal yoke... so was she being punished?

so many questions I'm dying to ask, am I moving too slow?, am I going too fast?I don't wanna miss it when it walks through my door

Will it look like I want it...will it leave me wanting more?



*** I'm fascinated by the way You look at me, and I am enraptured, fall in love so easily...well I , I'm captivated, oh the things You let me see, and I, I have been captured by the Love that lives in me.



Well, is it true that my prayers can change Your heart? I want to know fully, but I only know in part. Just want the reason before I hear the rhyme, would I know it if I saw it...would I follow every time?

***

How can I ever truly understand...my life, my being, all formed by Your own hand...and if I listen, will I really hear Your heart? Will I know Your direction, will I hear it from the start?

***

You know what I really love? I love a Daddy who can take it all, and still love me.