soul-searching

it has been such a long time since I have posted ... but that is what is supposed to happen when you are on a vacation from church and regular life.  not a bad thing, just a new thing ... and one that is teaching me more than I thought possible.

I have been spending an enormous amount of time on the beach pondering (and burning a little, but not metaphorically ... literally).  this afternoon I was searching through one of my husband's reads when I came across this, and it spoke volumes to me.

Entry # 14  On Becoming Human

I've come to love that word - human.  I mean, humanity can be a pretty bleak place to live, but when you begin to see what we're really capable of, our potential for good, it can be breathtaking.  For the past two thousand years, Christianity, along with pretty much every other world religion, has made the primary focus the sinful nature of us all.  In some ways I think this has lead to a not-so-subtle self-hatred.

I have been mulling this idea over for some time without actually realizing it until I read it on paper.  I think that is the reason I write poetry and music ... to, in a sense, discover what is in the deepest regions of my soul as I see it materialize through the ink or in the chords.  It sounds crazy to hear that I cannot always know what I am thinking ... I am myself, after all, but it is true that I don't know the whole piece until it comes out.  Then I reflect.  And, what I am thinking is not always en vogue ...

take our summer, for example.  we have determined to meet with God in a very un-traditional and counter-culteral way.  we worship every day, but not in a way that makes much sense to some we have told.  that is okay ... we know what we are doing and why we felt pressed to do it, and so far, we are discovering a lot, including who we really are as individuals, as a couple, and as a family.  Some have jokingly told us we are going to suffer for our time away (as if God moved from us when we stopped meeting with him on Sunday, in public).  only this time, I am not listening so hard ... except to Him.

I love this quote from Erwin McManus:
our brokenness is not proof that God could not or would not love us, but proof that what we need is the God who both created us and loved us.  what our souls long to become is not something other than human, but to become beautifully human.

that has slowly become one of the blessings of this summer journey I am on ... letting go of the thoughts of other well-meaning people and clinging instead to the voice of my Maker.  learning to see myself through His eyes, and realizing that to Him (because of Him) I am beautifully human.

how refreshing ...

July 21

this marks the last day of the Perfect Wedding, tomorrow being the day of Colin's departure.  I really think I might just cry ...  he has been a hilarious houseguest, an excellent philosopher with me, a fantastic big brother for the boys, the perfect scapegoat and all around farmer boy ... adieu my fine friend, I hope we see you again someday ...

beach day

seems that blogging interesting things along with my interest in blogging is becoming more and more of a challenge to me ... neal says I am fickle.  I think he is right.

Yesterday, though, I had him snap a couple of pictures so I could, like charlotte, look them up later, at home, and identify them.  The first is an orange sulphur / colias eurytheme



the second is a red admiral / vanessa atalanta



neither one is hard to sight, but, man!  I was reading to Neal part of the description of the red admiral and it says " common.  erratic "  uhhh ... yah.  you should have seen neal ... squatting with the camera, moving all over the beach, crab-style.  it was great comic relief.  I think that was how we both got burnt.

this was my favourite picture of the whole day, I must say.  I call it " this sand is stinkin hot "  and I think it should be added to my pieces for the studio tour this fall.  price-less.  he is actually running to the blanket.  I should have moved it, just for fun times.  at least I would have found it funny.



better watch my back ...

... and a time to shop ...

I promised my boys some goggles if they learned the skills needed to pass the next level of swimming lessons this summer.  Evan proudly announced last night that the two were going to keep the results a secret, only to be revealed at dinner tonight, in the presence of Dad.  AND, just as I predicted to myself (because the apple never falls very far from the tree) Evan waited until we were approximately 50 feet from the pool to announce "ok ... I can't stand it ... we both passed!"  It really was touch and go for him, in particular, and I thought the goggles would be a great motivator to learn a new skill.  Canadian Tire had some great ones last summer that made you look like you had shark eyes, or tiger ones.  I have a feeling those will be the top pick.

So, now that that is out of the way, I can try and think of a great reward to honour my own hard work on writing more curriculum and planning more of September, that I am sure to start any day now ...

I am thinking these rose-coloured goggles will work wonders for a few years to come.



 

July pickins

We just got back from the Lake about an hour ago ... and look what I pulled out of the wee square-foot garden bed ...

spinach, beet and basil



I am going now to hang the basil up to dry on my pot rack.  The smell is incredible ... I will be the envy of every Blue Berry from here to Tennessee, and all will be heard singing

And look at this crock pot of Madame Lacrosse's,

And ceramic jars where she keeps all her sauces!  (that were handmade by Mrs. Kristina Campbell)

Nice sauces...

remembering

well, Neal and I were surfing for long lost high school friends and he mentioned a picture to me that I had not thought much about.  It was taken a couple of years ago, and I thought it was neat that it happens to be the exact date as today ... only circumstances are much different.  We were on our way to a family reunion not too far from where my folks live, so we stopped in to visit briefly.  My Dad had recently undergone chemo and radiation (including a special study chemo drug that only a few hundred in all of Canada were blessed to receive and, consequently, only my pa received any benefit from) for cancer of the lung that had spread to the brain.  We were all kind of prepared to loose him, but it seems God has other plans.  We just saw them both last weekend when my brother was at their place (he had a high school reunion) and my Dad is still smarter than me ... even with the tumors!  talk about being blessed ... and I mean me ...

Dad and my boys ( the big side effect from the chemo was that Dad lost a tooth ... too funny)



Dad and Mom with the boys



Me and my Mom

why I love the weekend

I think that, for most of us, the weekend just puts the icing on the weekday cake ... we are all doing what we love to do (being at home with our kids) so it isn't as though the regular day-to-day stuff is miserable (though there are those seasons, too) BUT something transformational happens each weekend in our home.  I think it must be my husband ...

He helped me out by building my garden bed, for one



He also built the boys a bit of a tree fort in the back, so they could invite friends over and have something to do if the friends should be free to come ...



He loves to help out by cooking most everything on the weekends (and I let him because he is really creative and I like to deek out of as much as possible once Saturday shows her cheery face)



He encourages me to try, try, try again, and takes pictures of every bit of progress I make along the way



He shares my love for a "great spot" (actually so do my kids and my cats)



and, I suppose for now, he is my village ... and I love who he brought along with him.