Wednesday, July 2, 2008

first of all, do you have any idea how immensely bright a computer screen is at almost 5am when you have had insomnia all night?

ee.chee.wah

One good thing about insomnia is that it leaves you with large pockets of thinking time. Tonight, instead of sleeping, I made a discovery about myself; I am not relational.

barely at all.

see, I always thought I was, in a big way, but now I see the ruse. It wasn't until we started getting seriously ready to go overseas that I saw myself for who I really am. I am task oriented and have always made fun of other task oriented people along the way. Being task oriented helps explain what makes me an artist, too. Artists, musicians and writers love to hole themselves up, creating and ignoring the fact that they have tasks to complete like eating, bathing or even using the washroom. I have been this way countless times. I do love to be relational on my own terms, however. Examples:

1. I have already completed an immense number of tasks and simply need a break,ergo, I go relational.

2. I do not like the task I am supposed to be completing and choose to be relational instead. This is easy. I call b and go over for tea. She usually has the same task as me to complete and it is not difficult to twist her arm. Neither of us verbalizes our escape technique, we simply act it out.

So, here I am, shortly after 5 am, not having slept much at all this night wondering why I am so eager to be awake and making another realization about myself ... right now I have horrible breath.

5 comments:

Sarah said...

If you were here and awake all night, you could have kept the dog from pooping on the floor because you would have been around to hear her whimper or whatever dogs do. Also, your breath can't smell nearly as bad and 3 spots of squishy dog poop.

SmallWorld at Home said...

PS-- 13 weeks of posts to go and I'll be done moving over.

Fabricated Goddess said...

OH how I love you!

And as for insomnia born self revelatory discoveries, here's one for you: I have recently discovered that I have very few boundaries. Like almost none. This explains so many of the messes I have gotten myself into. Um, now to work on constructing some. OY.

barbara said...

I'm not relational either, I think, but I'd be willing to stretch myself and try if you could come for tea today. I know neither of us will enjoy it, but...

JenIG said...

bright computer screens. yes, i actually did know that. there is usually a little button to control the brightness. insomnia is a great way to figure all sorts of neatsy new things out