Thursday, November 25, 2010

we are family

Who are you closer to, friends or family?

Outside of my immediate family, meaning my parents and my brother, I actually don't see my relatives.  I know my auntie and have met a couple of cousins in Toronto, but because my parents are not from around these here parts (thank you Jesus) I have not met my family.  I have a longing to visit England, Australia and Finland to find them ... maybe one day. 

My husband, on the other hand, has a huge family.  It seriously feels like every time I turn around, there is another aunt, uncle or cousin to meet.  I have no frame of reference for that.  I don't mean to hold myself at a distance, but I also don't know how not to.  It's like saying you are fast friends with everyone you ever attended school with, simply because you were assigned the same classes year after year.  It helps with small talk, but you don't necessarily develop a closeness with those people just because.

but then again, with some you do

Family, to me, is comprised of those friends you meet in life where it feels like no time has passed since the last visit even though it may have been years.  They "get" you when no one else does.  They laugh at just the right phrases, share secret vernacular, and read between the lines when needed. 

Some of my family live in PNG, some in Tennessee, some out west.  Some of my family only live within a few hours and I wish I could see them way more.  One person in particular, whom I met waaaaay back in grade five, thinks that I don't have time for her anymore ... that maybe I've moved on somehow and forgot to let her know.  She's like a sister to me, even though she got the better tan.  It sucks that we live so far apart and that my working so much has taken over the parts of me that used to be available. 
She's like a sister to my husband, too.  I suppose that could be misconstrued ... 'cause, if she's my sister and I'm married to her brother ... I think you know what I'm trying to say here.  Friendships like that don't happen by accident and they aren't erased overnight.  Friends like that make you realize that life is totally worth living for a long, long time.  Friends like that get in your blood and become part of who you really are. 

Family is defined by the heart, not obligation. 
There is family that gets chosen for you, and family you choose.

I don't believe that I give away parts of me that easily, but when I do, it's for life.

No comments: