Friday, December 3, 2010


the prompt for today didn't speak to me.  maybe I'm just too fond of animals ... couldn't think of a single one I'd like to wipe off the face of the earth, supposing I had that kind of clout. 
no, today I'm feeling rather contemplative.  I have some student related things to go through and it is very rewarding but tiring.  there is a lot of paperwork involved and my brain gets a huge workout, flipping back and forth through manuals, analyzing data, wanting to be right in my "diagnosis" stuff.

wanting to be right.

that may very well be my biggest struggle.  it causes much fear and angst at times.  I know it's impossible to be right every single time, in every single situation, yet the desire to be so (or at least appear so?) burns at my core.  Is it simply because I desire approval?  Not sure that's it, because, frankly, sometimes I don't care if we disagree.  I think we can still choose to be friends.  I think that is precisely what makes life interesting.  sometimes I will choose to read a book, for example, for no other reason than because you say you hated it.  I have to know why.

so many questions I'm dying to ask ...

today I am thinking of several friends of mine who are going through really hard things.  things they didn't choose.  things they have no control over.  things they cannot change. 

I wish I could help. 

No comments: