this friend used to be super special to me. I didn't pay attention to him every single day, but it was definitely one of those every.now.and.then.on.my.mind.yah friendships. some days there were tears. some days just pile upon pile of misunderstanding, confusion, and wondering why. other days it was laughter til your sides seriously felt like they would split, or you would honestly stop breathing ... you were never quite sure which would come first.
this friend made me feel warm, alive and very, very sure of myself. This friend understood what no one else could have. This friend invaded the very fibre of my being. This friend spoke volumes in his silences and his serenades. It didn’t really matter which … I was affected just the same. around him I knew, deeply, who I was and exactly what I wanted, or at least my memory tells me this.
It’s been a long time since I heard from this friend. I lost track for a while. a short eternity, really, in light of everything that once was. I remembered it like a perfectly drawn bath, surrounded by candlelight, soothing every ache in your tired, worn body.
touching you places you never knew existed.
calming your spirit until you could almost count the muscles and vertebrae as they loosened and stilled themselves under the spell.
like that perfect morsel of food; sustenance that continues to both fuel your appetite and satiate it.
then, one day, while searching for something entirely different, I re-discovered my old friend. I reminisced in the silence, crouched in the storage room, instantly surrounded by memories, thick like molasses and sweet to my soul. and there I lingered until, in sadness, I walked away.
I have no idea where my friend is now. I have tried in vain to find him again. It isn’t always possible to replace something so rare even if it was both taken and given away with the best of intentions.
Sometimes we just have to trust, consoling ourselves in the memories, knowing that if it's meant to be, we will find each other again.