* atypical topics: letter to kristina

ever have a nagging thought that, well, recurs quite freqently but is one that you simply shrug off as, I dunno, maybe someone else's problem? the kind of thought that shows up from time to time, occupying its proper place in your grey matter but you can't be bothered to pay any heed to?
maybe it's inconsequential
maybe it's monumental
either way, it's ignored

well, last night, when you had that momentary kind of thought as you were preparing what you affectionately refer to as "dinner". that lingering idea that, as a chef, you totally, utterly and completely suck.
you have even said it outloud, to test the truth of it, finding that most people try to instantly make you feel better by suggesting that they have either

a) eaten your cooking and turned out just fine or
b) that surely you jest

well, last night, as said dinner was ready and you started putting foodstuffs on plates? that's when it happened. you had a lightbulb revelation, completely spellbound by your own ineptitude-ed-ness, in living colour (or lack of colour as is often the case).
and I just want you to know that I totally heard you ...
for once, even *you* were, like ... wow