I rarely know what I am going to blog about until I sit down with my compy and stare out the livingroom window. I always write my blog posts from the couch, unless I am beyond just a little bit tired; then I write my posts from bed, and it's usually only a matter of posting a picture.
today there will be no image to the left of my words (always to the left). I don't have any of the person on my mind. the fact that I even miss her is intriguing to me. I asked myself who I missed, and though I honestly miss so very many friends, I was surprised to catch myself adding her to the list.
If I believed in telekinesis AND invisibility (but not like in harry potter where I would have to wear a dumb cloak. I hate cloaks) AND if she were still at elgin court, I would transport myself to the back of her grade four classroom once again and listen to her often garbled voice as she explained the order of the day.
I remember how excited I would get when she announced that our most recent english papers had been graded, in order of highest to lowest marks, and mine was on top. I also remember how deflated I would feel when the same thing was done with the latest math papers. mine was usually on the bottom. I was supposed to be enrolled in the enrichment program for the following year except I hadn't learned my times tables so she was holding me back. I really meant to learn them. I still attempt it. they just never stick.
no enrichment for me.
then there was the day that my constant chatter, laissez faire attitude and likely some other things I have successfully blocked out got in her face just a bit too much. I was wearing a very cool blue satin zip up jacket. it had white cuffs and trim. It had green and red on it too, like a half rainbow. I left school that day with fingernail imprints from where she shook me in frustration. no one does that in school anymore. I'm not entirely convinced that is progress. in any case, I remain ever so fond of this woman.
I was published for the first time, a poem, the year I was in her class.
I won the literature award, too, due to her constant encouragement and inspiration.
I learned the value of hard work and introspection through her.
I am convinced that I write, to this very day, because she was one more person, in authority, who took the time to tell me what I was good at.
I do miss helen monroe.