dear secretive rhubarb stealer,
thank you ever so much for staying away from my rhubarb patch this year.
Imagine my surprise last spring upon finding rhubarb leaves stashed under the evergreen hedge and my stalks of rhubarb gone, with the exception of three spindly sticks you left behind so the whole lot didn't completely disappear.
It was nice to be able to go out in my own backyard and find my own plants.
If I knew who you were, I might even show you the crisp and bars I am going to bake today.
I am guessing, though, that if you spied me just now, harvesting, you would not want to take my rhubarb ever again.
It must have been at least slightly creepy to watch this pale waif of a girl slowly walking in the tall grass wearing a large winter coat, long brown skirt, with witch-like bed head and unbrushed teeth weilding a rather sharp, rather shiny, rather upright cleaver.
It will be nice to find my plants undisturbed again next year.